I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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