Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
so much tequila, so little girl.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
