OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
