the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
