Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
