she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
