She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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