I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
should my penis look like a turkey
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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