he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He did a backflip because drugs
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
