thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
there is puke in my bra ... again
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