I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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