How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
