But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
