new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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