thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
