I think I am morally bankrupt
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
