Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
