pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
