my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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