I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
