apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
