Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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