every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
