No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
