dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
