every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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