Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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