im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
