He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
