I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
