she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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