i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
