have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
