take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
