so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
