Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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