His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
