He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
