i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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