the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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