Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
