its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
