this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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