Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I currently don't understand fingers.
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