Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
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I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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