I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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