the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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