About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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