Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I feel like a drive thru vagina
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
