i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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