You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
