That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Randomize
