I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
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Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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