Will you blow on my dice?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
