We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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