so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
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Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
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Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.