I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.