he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.