You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
