Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
