She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
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It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
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if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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