I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
