the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
