when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
