carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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