I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
